Page 3 Chapter 2:
If it’s Too Good to Be True
For most men, it is better to seek traditional women in the provinces of Russia rather than in the cities. The problem is that most marriage agencies work in Moscow, St. Petersburg, and the other big cities where fewer traditional women remain every year because of the active invasion of the western style of life and its major influences.
The fact that women on the Internet and in the catalogues call themselves traditional is often the result of knowing the “right answers” men want to hear. Perhaps many of them don’t really know if they want to be traditional wives. Many of them, especially the younger women, have never even given it any thought.
These women often define and present themselves the way you, the client, want to see them. Some of them are just sincerely mistaken in defining their true identities and priorities. They may think they are prepared to stay at home and be occupied with housekeeping and children. Having never been housewives — and some never having boiled eggs — they think that they will learn to do everything after marriage; or even if not, that they will survive without these basic skills in America.
Many of these young women compile their perceptions of America by watching soap operas like “Santa Barbara,” which is incredibly popular in Russia. They might suppose that life in America is a continuous holiday — cocktail parties, homes with servants, and chauffeurs. If your level of life differs from the one they imagine, a lot of serious disappointments in your future family life will be waiting for both of you.
Even more mature women may mistakenly consider themselves ready for the role of a “housewife.” Though many of them are actually excellent cooks and housewives, they’ve become accustomed to working and having their own money, making their decisions independently. Becoming dependent on a man is generally an unfamiliar and incomprehensible notion to them.
Theoretically, the prospect of becoming a traditional housewife may sound rather attractive for tired, hard-working, low-paid women. But in practice, isolation from their social lives and the absence of their own independent means of support may turn out to be stressful for them and for their husbands.
Finding a wife through a catalogue is a very risky matter. No matter how attractive a woman may look in a colorful catalog, don’t forget that behind that beautiful photo and attractive description may exist a completely different woman than you think. There are also incidents in which men place ads with a photo of a little-known model with the aim of getting money from unsuspecting suitors.
Any of a number of enterprising individuals use “model photos” to attract their victims. Many women hide their real age, education, the existence of children, and so on. Some of them place 10-year-old photos in these catalogs. Meeting women through ads, catalogs, or the Internet brings the real risk of getting an unpleasant surprise.
The deceit or even innocent misunderstanding may be revealed only at the last stage of your acquaintance when you personally travel to Russia — and sometimes only after the marriage vows are already spoken.
Of course, this is not the case with all ads, but it is incredibly difficult to sort truth from lies during the normal course of correspondence as it is typically conducted. The differences in language, culture, and traditions make it even more problematic.
Many men prefer to get acquainted with Russian women who know English well. Such a desire is understandable. But the better the knowledge of English a woman has, the more opportunities she has to correspond with and meet foreigners. Such women are typically very active in the international marriage market. They often have a variety of choices and they can be demanding.
But, there are only a relatively few traditional women among them. The mentality and values of life of the majority of the women featured on the Internet and in agency catalogs are very similar to those of their Western sisters. You can end up with a selfish gold-digger, the one that speaks English with an accent.
Another thing you should pay attention to while looking for a wife via catalogs is the details in the photos. If a woman in the photo is in a rather revealing pose (skimpy bikini or other sexually suggestive attire), then you may be sure that this girl or woman is not traditional. Any decent Russian woman of high moral and traditional character would never pose for such a photo and certainly not for public viewing.
I will specifically dedicate one chapter to the theme of sexuality of traditional Russian women. Until then, believe me that you won’t find a traditional wife among the beauties in skimpy, revealing bikinis or similar attire and poses.