Page 6 Chapter 5:
What Kind of Wife Do You Need?
The boundaries of your search will significantly widen if you are looking for a wife-partner and don’t mind your future wife working at least several hours per week or running a business together with you (of course, without damaging the interests of the family). Many traditional women from the big and middle-sized cities of Russia will be a good choice for you.
Besides, they possess enough skills in the crafts and arts in order to combine family life and a small home business or a hobby successfully. Musical, artistic, and dance (ballet) education is well set in Russia. All women having a specialty connected with the arts or music will often be able to find a job in the U.S. (Russian ballet & music instructors are often in very high demand).
Other good professions include computers, medicine, biology, and chemistry. Hairdressers, cosmetologists, and dental assistants are potentially good and practical fields, as well. But, a knowledge of English and a special refresher course in the USA will be necessary in order to obtain a license to continue work in some of these specialties. Tailors and artisans also can easily find excellent additional income. Many Russian women knit, embroider, and weave lace at or near a professional level.
Note that economists, accountants, teachers, secretaries, managers, journalists, lawyers, salespersons, bank workers, and other specialists connected tightly with the Russian language and specific economical conditions are the most difficult occupations to transfer to the United States. The preparation of these specialists in Russia differs from American standards so much that it is often easier or even required required to learn everything from the beginning rather than simple re-orientation. They have great difficulties finding similar jobs bearing any real income.
Your search will be much more complicated if you want your wife to be only a housewife and mother, especially if you live in a rural area or a small provincial town. In this case, you’d better look for a fiancee who is accustomed to a similar style of life. If she lives in a big city, then the life you offer her may only be attractive to her for a very short time. Sooner or later, a city woman will likely start missing the amenities and vibrancy of city life. In this case you will have to take your wife regularly to a nearby city, or she may well become very unhappy and depressed.
The usual illusion of Russians who’ve never been to America is that the U.S. is made up of big cities like New York and Los Angeles. They can’t easily imagine what life in the small towns and rural areas is really like. Therefore, if you live in such a sparsely populated region, then make sure to describe your way of life and the place in which you live from the outset. It will save you and her a great deal of disappointment and many other problems in the future.
As I stated at the outset, one of the greatest pitfalls for American men choosing Russian women is that they think they will easily find and marry a young, beautiful, highly educated and intelligent woman in Russia independent of consideration of their own education, social status, appearance, and age. Almost all of the marriage agencies working with Russia and Eastern Europe assure you of this.
Although Russian women traditionally prefer that the men are older, and usually don’t pay as much attention to the man’s appearance and social status as their American counterparts, a big difference in age, tastes, lifestyle, and education is always a recipe for conflict. If you are not interested in the arts or classical music, but prefer, for instance, sports and hunting, then it will be difficult for you to share common interests with a wife whose interests include violin, classical art, and music.
If you are, let’s say, a farmer, then you will hardly be able to create a happy and harmonious family with a woman from a city or a woman who is career-oriented. However attractive and tempting these young beauties might be, try to use common sense and think about the consequences of your decisions. You will both be happier in the end.
Aside from your way of life, tastes, and social status, the main factor in your choice is the compatibility of your characters. If you like a calm, serene life and quiet evenings at home by the TV or fireplace, then it will obviously be much easier for you to live with a woman with the same tastes. If your job or lifestyle involves interacting with many people, and you are socially active, then your future wife must be energetic and enjoy socializing with people as well.
You may have heard the cliche, “opposites attract”, but I don’t believe that extreme opposites are compatible. Some differences in temperament, tastes, and viewpoint may be rather beneficial for marriages. But here, a common base of beliefs, way of life, and goals must exist.
Every marriage is based on the three cornerstones: the personality of the man, the personality of the woman, and the compatibility that connects these two personalities.
I hope you know your personality rather well. Before making this important decision, try to learn the personality of your chosen one even better. Then, realistically and without illusions, analyze what connects the two of you — how much you actually have in common. The more you have in common, the firmer the base of your marriage will be.